God’s Top Ten Session 2 Podcast Notes
Honor your father and mother
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3
That is a direct quote from Deuteronomy 5. It’s also a direct quote from Star Trek. “Live long and prosper.” Spock stole it from the bible.
It would benefit kids to listen to us as parents, but the reality is, we might be part of the problem. There may be a reason why our children are not listening. It would be great if we could just tell our kids to honor us and the problem would be solved. Maybe we could all go home and print this verse out and put it in our kids room and life would magically be better. But it doesn’t work that way. If you were to keep reading the next verse says this
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Maybe our kids aren’t listening because we have become exasperating. We have resorted to nagging. Our kids see us as frustrated and angry.
Kids you have to learn to listen to parents, but there is a flip side. Kids will listen to parents who are worth listening to.
Parents you have to be someone worth listening to
Three parents that aren’t listened to.
The threatening parent
This is what an idle threat sounds like. “If you don’t pick up your room you are grounded for a year.” “If you don’t put your dishes away I’m never going to feed you again.” I once walked 50 steps into Disneyland and heard a parent say this to her child. “If you don’t start to behalf we will leave Disneyland.” Really. You just spent $600 to get your family of four into the park, you ain’t leaving lady. Those kind of threats not only don’t work, but they teach kids to not listen.
Meghan Leahy Parent Coach put it like this.When we nag, beg, and threaten we teach our children to ignore us.
2) The busy parent
We all find ourselves in busy seasons as parents. It just happens that way sometimes. When I got busy as a parent the only conversations we had were discipline conversations.
Did you clean your room?
Put your toys away.
Have you brushed your teeth?
Get your PJ’s on and go to bed
When I was busy I didn’t have time to roll on the ground and wrestle or play Lego’s or go for walks. All my conversations were orders and instructions.
3) The distracted parent
62 percent of kids say their parents are distracted when they are trying to talk to them. Phones, TV and laptops – accounted for 51 percent of the distractions. It is possible that your kid is not listening to you because you are not listening with you full attention to your kid.
Let me see if I can simplify this discussion with two statements. One is for parents, the other is for their kids.
Parents, learn to love first, listen second, and give advice third.
Tim Smith talks about the 50% rule. Make sure that you are talking less than 50% of the time. That you’re listening and understanding more than talking and lecturing.
Let me read you a story I found this last week.
When I was 34 years old and the mother of three children, I took Art 101 at Motlow State Community college in Tennessee. One day our instructor announced that the project we had done on the first day of class was to be included in the notebook that would be a major part of our grade. “May I do another project?” I asked somewhat anxiously. “I just don’t have the first one anymore.” The instructor asked what had happened to it. Somewhat embarrassed, I replied, “It’s on my mother’s fridge.”
“You shall not commit adultery.
Contrary to popular belief, God is not against sex. If you stood up in class and encouraged others to follow God’s plan for sex, people would think you were trying to outlaw happiness. You’d have to work hard to explain that God is not against sex. In fact, he considers it something good. It was, after all, his idea. God could have made us reproduce the way plants do, with floating spores and pollen. But he preferred human life to spring from the exultant, loving embrace of intercourse. So it only makes sense that the all-knowing God who invented sex should know how it can best be celebrated. God wouldn’t sacrifice his own Son to redeem us, and then turn around to arbitrarily spoil our fun. Tim Stafford
Our country has a broken view of sexuality
Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theater by simply bringing a covered plate on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let everyone see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of the sex instinct among us? C.S. Lewis
Sexual power lives on, but few see in that power pointer to the One who designed it. Phillip Yancy, Rumors of Another World
Roger Staubach, in a CBS clip, tells the world that he loves sex.“I enjoy sex as much as Joe Namath,” Staubach quips. “Only I do it with one girl, ya know, but it’s still fun.”
How much trouble did he get in with his wife after that quote
I cannot deny that nude women, whether in art museums or magazines or over the Internet, exert on me a power like gravitational force. I must also say, though, that when I resist the temptation and pour sexual energy into my marriage – a much more complicated and less selfish transaction, to be sure- the obsessive power of sexuality fades away. The air clears. Marriage becomes more of a Haven. My life with God yields unexpected rewards. Phillip Yancy
Let me read you what I think is one of the most difficult verses in the bible.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27, 28
Those are hard verses. Especially for men. And I have proof. A recent study done shows that 70% of Christian men who go to church, and have wives and daughters struggle with pornography. That’s a tough stat isn’t it guys.
If you ask me, lust and sexual sin is the god of this age. Simply based on it’s prominence in TV and in advertising and movies and how we dress. The god people in our culture worship most is sex. Why is that?
I think the reason why sex has such a strong hold on us has to do with the legend of John Puller. Last year I went to Uganda. Door to door I traveled 42 hours from San Diego to get to Uganda. That’s a long time so I wanted to make sure I had a book to read. A buddy gave me a book about a Army Special Agent named John Puller. John Puller is every man’s man. He’s a murder investigator. He’s could kill you five times before you hit the ground. And every woman who comes in contact with him wants to take him home to bed. The first day on the job there he meets a policewoman and within eight hours of meeting her, she invites him to sleep at her house. The next day he’s joined on the investigation by a general who just so happens to be a hot and in shape female general. She walks into John’s room naked.
At this point I thought “Maybe this isn’t the kind of book I should be reading on my missions trip to Uganda.” For so many guys this thought sticks in the back of their mind. “Wound’t it be great if I was just like John Puller. Wouldn’t it be great if I was big, in shape, had a really cool job and women would just throw themselves at me. Wouldn’t it be great if I could just go to bed with anyone I wanted. Wouldn’t that be a great way to live.”
Guys, I have some news that I need you to hear. The legend of John Puller is fiction. So is the lifestyle. It doesn’t exist. Let me tell you the legend of David Smith. 8 years ago David married this beautiful southern girl who could easily make a magazine cover. That marriage lasted a year and a half. Last year David and I went to lunch and he told me a line I will never forget. He said “in the last 8 years there hasn’t been a woman I haven’t cheated on.” David is a good looking guy. He’s smart and funny and he knows how to play the game to get a women into bed. And he is the most miserable guy I’ve met with in the last year. He’s on anti depressants. He’s considered suicide. He’s broke. I have heard that story over and over and over.
You shall not steal
7 little things that almost everyone steals
Erika Rawes, USA today
70 percent of office employees say they’ve have had a pen go missing, and 40 percent have actually caught a co-worker stealing their pen red-handed. We steal pens so much that doctor’s offices actually tie them to clipboards. And banks, well, they chain those pens down so our thieving hands don’t walk out with them.
2. A spot in line
Have you ever cut in line? When someone cuts in line, in all actuality, that person is stealing someone else’s time.
The Journal of Personality of Social Psychology studied how people react in this situation. Although its research is dated, it is still compelling. When someone cuts in line, people object 54% of the time. When two people try to cut, however, people objected much more frequently — about 91% of the time.
3. Hotel amenities
More than one-third (35%) of hotel guests admit to stealing hotel amenities like towels and linens.
4. Parking spots
5. Books and magazines
Many doctor’s offices and hair salons have piles of magazines in the waiting area to reduce boredom during the waiting period. Have you ever accidentally taken one of those magazines home with you?
7. Restaurant straws, napkins and condiments
Do you steal the sugar or Sweet ‘n’ Low packets from the tables at restaurants? What about ketchup and mustard packets?
CNN reported on sugar and condiment swiping. These condiments account for around 1% of the restaurants’ total supply cost, which equates to around $900,000.
Sugar and condiments are not the only foods we steal from food establishments. Ever taste something from your pay-by-weight container at the store or deli before it’s weighed? Caught you!
Thou Shall not lie
Look with me at Exodus 20:16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour.”
Did you ever get caught in a lie?
A lie to get out of trouble, a lie to escape a meeting, a lie to cover your true feelings. Let me refresh your memory with a little test. I’m going to read some lies and for everyone you’ve said put a little check on your outline. 3 strikes and your out.
I’ll start my diet tomorrow.
How are you? I’m fine
That’s a beautiful baby
Give me your number and I’ll call you right back.
I can’t come into work today, I’m sick
I had no idea I was going that fast officer
That dress looks great on you
I really like your new hairstyle
I put it back where it belongs
I’ve been meaning to call
I didn’t even notice that woman who walked by
I’ll do it as soon as the games over (When will that be)
The game will be over in just a few minutes
I floss on a regular basis
I’ll pray for you
(after a breakup) I still want to be friends
If anyone calls, tell them I’m not in
I’m am not angry
The dog ate my homework